I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
