you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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