Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
