well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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