i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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