I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
