did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
