Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
