I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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