Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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