Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize