This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
