I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
