His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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