She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
