Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
