i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
