I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
