Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
