We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
