i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
