Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
