I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
im holly from the hills drunk
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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