dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
