i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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