im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
