My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
