She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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