there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Randomize
