I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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