just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
