Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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