so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guiltš
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heās Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i out mim tonsoeep
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now sheās a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. āHigh maintenance hotā doesnāt even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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