my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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