Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize