Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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