READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
