the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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