I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
