I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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