He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
