I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
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If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
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I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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