I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
