Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
