I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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