I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
