my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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