That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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