my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
