then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
It was confusing and full of hummus
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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