I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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