I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize
