you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
