dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
