I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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