So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
