Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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