the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
