i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
