Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
